Why we need to make nudity boring
I was chatting about naturism this week with one of my strokie friends (it happens a lot, I'm pleased to say) when she raised an issue which is one of the biggest hurdles to the promotion of family social nudity.
She said that, at 18, her daughter is completely comfortable about her mother walking in on her while she is in the shower and completely comfortable about walking in on her mother in the same situation. My friend, I'm happy to say, has no problem with any of this.
My friend's husband, however, feels 'it's not proper' to see his daughter naked after a certain age. She asked me 'why not?' How has society decided that it's acceptable for us to be naked in front of our own sex, but that to be seen nude by the opposite sex is, as near as dammit, a mortal sin?
Well, greater philosophical minds than mine have wrestled with that (and the fact that the Bible never condemns nudity and could, in many places, be seen to approve of social nudity), but what I will say is that in the 21st century, it's time to look again at this.
We are told that the skimpiest of bras and underwear, which hide a few square inches of our bodies and may be said to be being provocative by doing so, are acceptable, but simple nudity is not.
By doing so, I believe we are saying to our young people that 'behind that tiny patch of cloth, there is something rude and forbidden, which you must not see.' And as young people do, if society tells them they must not do something, they want to do it - that is an inescapable fact of human nature which has been in our cultures for thousands, if not millions, of years.
And so, they watch or read pornography (when I was a lad, it was the stash of magazines which my oh-so-uptight father hid in his wardrobe; nowadays, they can browse the internet), they send each other nude pictures of each other and think they are being daring, they masturbate over pictures of the opposite sex and in extreme cases, commit acts of sexual violence in order to see 'what society hides.'
Wouldn't it be so much more sensible to say to our 14-year-olds: "This is what a naked human body looks like. Nudity is absolutely nothing to do with sex and it is possible for men and women to be naked together without sex being involved.''? Wouldn't it be so much more sensible if the naked human body became so commonplace, in the right social circumstances, that it became boring, rather than exciting?
Having been involved in naturist journalism for over 10 years, I can assure you that when you have seen as many naked bodies as I have, they do indeed become boring.
Obviously, those of us involved in the naturist movement would like to think that naturist swimming and other naturist leisure/wellness activities could become commonplace as quickly as possible. That's why I write this blog.
But maybe the social mores within our family lives have to change first. Maybe we first have to stop being shocked if fathers and daughters, or mothers and sons, are comfortable being nude in front of each other at home. And that requires individual families to take a different approach to nudity.
As I said in my last post, my mother had that approach and it resulted in her bringing up a son with what I consider is a very enlightened attitude to nudity. My friend and her daughter obviously have it. Perhaps we can encourage awareness of what the opposite sex actually looks like naked as a first step.
Maybe then our young people wouldn't be so keen to rebel against what society thinks, if society thought nudity was completely normal.
She said that, at 18, her daughter is completely comfortable about her mother walking in on her while she is in the shower and completely comfortable about walking in on her mother in the same situation. My friend, I'm happy to say, has no problem with any of this.
My friend's husband, however, feels 'it's not proper' to see his daughter naked after a certain age. She asked me 'why not?' How has society decided that it's acceptable for us to be naked in front of our own sex, but that to be seen nude by the opposite sex is, as near as dammit, a mortal sin?
Well, greater philosophical minds than mine have wrestled with that (and the fact that the Bible never condemns nudity and could, in many places, be seen to approve of social nudity), but what I will say is that in the 21st century, it's time to look again at this.
We are told that the skimpiest of bras and underwear, which hide a few square inches of our bodies and may be said to be being provocative by doing so, are acceptable, but simple nudity is not.
By doing so, I believe we are saying to our young people that 'behind that tiny patch of cloth, there is something rude and forbidden, which you must not see.' And as young people do, if society tells them they must not do something, they want to do it - that is an inescapable fact of human nature which has been in our cultures for thousands, if not millions, of years.
And so, they watch or read pornography (when I was a lad, it was the stash of magazines which my oh-so-uptight father hid in his wardrobe; nowadays, they can browse the internet), they send each other nude pictures of each other and think they are being daring, they masturbate over pictures of the opposite sex and in extreme cases, commit acts of sexual violence in order to see 'what society hides.'
Wouldn't it be so much more sensible to say to our 14-year-olds: "This is what a naked human body looks like. Nudity is absolutely nothing to do with sex and it is possible for men and women to be naked together without sex being involved.''? Wouldn't it be so much more sensible if the naked human body became so commonplace, in the right social circumstances, that it became boring, rather than exciting?
Having been involved in naturist journalism for over 10 years, I can assure you that when you have seen as many naked bodies as I have, they do indeed become boring.
Obviously, those of us involved in the naturist movement would like to think that naturist swimming and other naturist leisure/wellness activities could become commonplace as quickly as possible. That's why I write this blog.
But maybe the social mores within our family lives have to change first. Maybe we first have to stop being shocked if fathers and daughters, or mothers and sons, are comfortable being nude in front of each other at home. And that requires individual families to take a different approach to nudity.
As I said in my last post, my mother had that approach and it resulted in her bringing up a son with what I consider is a very enlightened attitude to nudity. My friend and her daughter obviously have it. Perhaps we can encourage awareness of what the opposite sex actually looks like naked as a first step.
Maybe then our young people wouldn't be so keen to rebel against what society thinks, if society thought nudity was completely normal.
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